A Letter Of Sorts To Tommy Rivers Puzey

Why I'm Glad He's Still Raging.

Tommy, 

I’m writing to let you know I’m glad you’re still here. I’m glad, excruciating as it may be, you’re still breathing. That I’ve filled my lungs with thoughts of you, your family, and your words for over a year now. Your distant coughs have propelled me forward when falling backward seemed the more pleasant option.

How you straddled the brittle line between life and death and swung a chemo-ridden leg back to our side… I have no idea. 

Nobody else could do that. 

Nobody else would try. 

When your wife penned, “It wouldn’t be him unless it was rare and aggressive,” I think we all nodded in agreement. It made us all sick because it was true, just not as sick as you. 

In the same way, it wouldn’t be you unless it took the brutality of chemo to claw your famous beard off. It’s as if Aslan himself took you to the place of deepest depravity and, like he told Eustace, told you: 

“You will have to let me undress you.” 

And you let him. It’s shocking how surrender is the most valiant fight. How true, frail bone weakness is the image of unfathomable strength. But in the last year, you’ve shown us what is gained in giving up. How strength is manifested in weakness. 

You’re still Rivs. Whether you ever toe the start line and gallup across any finish line again, you are still Rivs. You’ve been Rivs the entire time. 

I can’t imagine the bond you have with your family and your closest friends. I cannot pretend that common grounds and friends are what we share.

I can, however, attest to the ironclad kinship I feel with other runners when another black hat with a skull and crossbones enters my line of vision. Often it’s a somber nod shared between strangers. A silent “rage on.” Every once and a while, though, around the hills of Austin, we will both raise a fist and shout, “RAGE ON!” 

I’m still raging, Tommy. 

I’m glad you are too. 

PS: Eyes up. Stout heart.

Some background on this post: A little over a year ago the ultra/endurance athlete community was shocked to learn about our favorite mercenary pirate runner Tommy “Rivers” Puzey’s NK T-Cell Lymphoma diagnosis. At the time it felt like a death sentence. An outrageously humble man who seemed larger than life somehow brought all the way down to earth. Throughout the process, he, and his wife gave us glimpses into the journey. They didn’t have to but they did. And though he was already an inspiration, he inspired runners across the globe all the more. This runner included. I linked to his store page in the post above. Please take a look at the merch and make a purchase if something strikes your fancy. Proceeds of the sales go towards supporting Tommy and his lovely family. Rage on.